I'm a Proud Mommy

My friend and fellow blogger over at Bored Mommy received a comment on her blog that sparked quite a bit of anger and controversy:

“Why is it that you call yourselves “mommies”? It’s infantile, like being called a girl instead of a woman. If giving birth (or adopting) and raising a child is so important, why don’t you insist on the dignity of the word “parent”? Or “mother” — if you insist on focusing on gender as well? I am a parent and I was “mommie” only to my children and then only when they were young. No wonder men and childfree women don’t take you seriously: You are endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile, and have nothing to say for yourselves beyond your reproductive status and childrearing.”

Pardon me? Is this woman for real?

I’m proud to be a mommy!

I’m also a mom, mother, mama… a wife, sister, daughter, friend...

I'm a mommy to my two little boys and will always be.

The term mommy is undignified… since when?

Focusing on gender?

Hell ya!

I am woman, hear me roar!

Proud to be! Proud that I had the miracle of carrying two babies in my womb for nine months and then giving birth two my beautiful boys.

Proud to be responsible for these two precious lives.

Proud to have been witness to their first time smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, standing, walking and talking.

Proud when they first called out to me, “mama”

Proud when they started calling me “Mommy”.

And they haven’t stopped since.

The most important job I will ever have in my lifetime is to be a mommy to my children.

As they get older, maybe they will call me Mom… (they will never call me by my first name or 'Mother' or else I will kick them swiftly in the butt) ...but I will always ALWAYS be their Mommy… and that title, I wear proudly!

Are you proud to be a Mommy too? Head over to Bored Mommy to write and link up your own post.

Beating the Winter Blues

Two years ago, we had a brutal winter. Tons of snow. Because I live in a newer subdivision and the homes are literally stuck together, there wouldn't be any room to spread out the snow so it would have to be dumped into a huge mountain on my tiny front lawn.

But this year, winter has been pretty damn good so far. The lack of sun has been a little depressing. My face looks so pasty that I’m tempted to go to a fake ‘n bake, even if it means I'll end up looking orange like Snooky on Jersey Shore.

We can't complain. There haven't been too many nostril-hairs-sticking-together kind of freezing cold days so far up here in the Toronto area.

Are you the type that constantly whines about winter?

Make the best of it! Get out there and enjoy some winter activities. Skating, skiing, sledding, snowshoeing…even snowboarding for those brave ones. Throw on your warmest parka and wrap your head in a wooly scarf and off you go!

Hmmm, braving the cold and exercising at the same time?

Although I love the idea of looking like a chic snow bunny, my body would be trembling under that not-so-fashionable snow suit.

Hitting the slopes? Sliding down a steep hill at 60 km an hour, heading right for that tree?

I’d rather picture myself lounging in the ski lodge by the fireplace, sipping hot chocolate and nibbling on bon bons while getting a foot rub. Or make that a hot apple cider spiked with vodka.

Really, I am one of those people who appreciates the winter season. I love skating especially and get a kick out of watching the Boss play hockey.

There is something peaceful about watching the snowfall. Driving through the country roads is something my whole family enjoys, and seeing the landscape covered in white is breathtaking.

BUT - I suffer from the winter blues. Amazing how the lack of daylight can seriously alter your mood. It’s like having PMS all winter long.

Here are 10 Ways To Conquer The Winter Blues:

1. Get into Olympic fever! Throw an opening or closing ceremony party with a patriotic theme.

2. Don’t wait until spring to do some spring cleaning – start early. Organize your closet and donate some of your old clothes or give your kitchen a fresh coat of paint – in a bright colour.

3. Remember to take your multi-vitamins, especially Vitamin C and D.

4. Watch Hawaii Five-O, Miami Vice or Baywatch re-runs to make you dream of a warm, sunny place (with some hot bods running on the beach).

5. Better yet, if you can manage, book a winter holiday, even just for a long weekend. Even better, plan a Girls Only weekend at a spa.

6. Get our ass off that couch and shake your body. Exercise can give you that boost of feel-good chemicals that can improve your mood.

7. If you can't get up, sleep in. Some extra zzzzzzz's might be exactly what you need.

8. Throw a St. Patrick’s Day party so you can have something fun to plan for March... and start drinking early.

9. Don't be a wimp - bundle up and get outdoors. Make snow angels with your kids. Help them build a snowman. If you need some therapy, throw some big snowballs at your spouse - aim for the face.

10. Don’t just look like a snow bunny, be one. Take up skiing. Book a weekend with the family at a ski lodge. Then pretend you're not feeling well... and while the rest of the family hits those terrifying slopes, you can sneak away to that snug armchair by the fire.

GNO

This past Friday night was not only was a Girls Night Out but also a Greek Night Out.

A popular Greek singer, Giannis Ploutarxos, was performing.

I haven’t been to a Greek concert for a long time and wasn’t sure what to expect. But being held at a convention centre with a pre-concert "full course" dinner, I thought I was sure what I was getting myself into.

The only prediction I had, which was right on the nose, was the TWO-course roast beef dinner. If it were an Italian concert, we'd be eating for hours and my husband would have come just for the food.

The black napkins on the tables reminded me of a bad Sweet Sixteen birthday party I had at a Greek Bouzouki bar. Yes you heard right. I was underaged but looked 19 and drank waaaay too much Ouzo.

Smoke filled the venue... not cigar smoke but smoke from the dried ice. Yep! Fogged up my contact lenses.

I know the 80s are sort of back in style but I honestly felt like I was back in Grade 7 where the girls wore PROM gowns with flats, and white dresses with black tights.

Can someone say Feta?

Evening started out smoothly. Catching up with my dear Greek friend (my Journalism bud from Ryerson) and her adventurous sister. My purse was sitting innocently on the chair beside me.

“Let me check my phone,” I thought to myself. What do I see? A bunch of missed calls and a text from another good friend who happened to be there.

"Call home."

Oh no, what the hell happened? I’ve only been gone for an hour!

The hubs is in a state of panic because the Boss has suddently spiked a fever and has a rash all over his body.

Greaaaat.

After a call with TeleHealth, he calmed down. The hubs that is. We could take the Boss to the doctor tomorrow.

Mommy guilt kicked me swiftly in the ass.

Then I reasoned with myself: he's eating, playing and bugging his brother? He'll be fine!

I can relax and have a second (and last since I was driving) cranberry vodka.

WHEW.

The opening act turned me into Simon Cowell – “horrible!” This singer was pure karaoke, no disrespect BUT… whether she was an opera singer or not, the song was laughable. Here is a clip you MUST watch:

As my friend’s sister said, “The Phantom of the Opera meets the Bouzoukia”.

Then finally, Ploutarxos came on stage. Beautiful man, beautiful voice. Apparently amazing father of four.

Our table was in an awkward position so the groupie that I am, suggested we gravitate toward the side stage. Took some great photos.

As in pure Greek melodrama and chaos, people starting dancing on tables and at one point, the stage became a dance floor.

I couldn’t even see where the singer was anymore.

The bouncers were doing a fabulous job of keeping these crazed fans off the stage.

A few drunk-ish girls wouldn't get off the damn stage either, trying desperately to either impress Ploutarxos or impress the crowd. Seriously? I didn't pay to watch these girls shake their booties, one of whom was wearing a micro-mini skirt with control top pantyhose. The kind where you can see the line?

A few "cool" dudes also climbed up on stage to show off their “Zembekiko” dance moves.

And cameras were flashing every which way.

Suddenly people were getting up on stage with him to take photos. WITH HIM AS HE WAS SINGING. Have you ever heard of this?

Is this an autograph and photo session, or a concert?

Laughing my ass off. Is this for real? I felt like I was in a really BAD GREEK MOVIE.

Well if this is the case, I wasn’t going to be the only one NOT to get a photo. I worked my way to the bouncer like a groupie and he winked as if to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you in.”

Then all of a sudden, the Bouncer of all Bouncers came out and took over. Damn you taking-your-job-way-too-seriously buddy! My chances are slim now.

It then became utterly ridiculous – more and more fans managed to climb on stage to have their photo taken AND literally having a conversation with the singer WHILE he was performing.

It was so bizarre, I couldn’t resist filming it:

Ploutarxos, like every Greek man, was enjoying the huge boost to his ego and lapping up the attention. So much so, he ended up hopping off the stage and worked his way around the hall. A posse of bouncers and a circle of fans followed him, most trying to get a picture.

My friend pulled the Journalism card and said “Go Maria, be a photojournalist and get that shot!”

That was it baby! I pushed my way through the crowd, put my arm around him, whispered a little Greek into his ear (which he couldn’t hear anyway because of the plugs) and SNAP!

I got it! The climactic moment. After that, I was so done. Time to go... I'd had enough. And I wanted to see my babies.

By the way, the concert went on until 3:00 am... no other way but Greek style!

January Sucks

Warning: This post is not intended for cheering you up or putting a smile on your face. Its content may contain moments of frustration. Reader discretion is advised.

You know moms who listen to and talk about their whiney kids all the time? Well now it’s my turn to be whiney. I usually don’t complain and I like to think I have a positive outlook but this time, I feel like bitching.

January has been a complete bust.

Between suffering migraines and a nasty stomach virus to the kids catching colds and the Boss getting pneumonia, it’s been one doctor’s appointment after another.

My mood has been depressing. The hype of the holidays is over and despite the welcoming denouement, there comes a sadness after it’s all said and done.

The kids’ fighting has reached a point of no return. Thank goodness the Boss is back to school every other day. The Destroyer started pre-school with a bang but hates skating. No refunds but I want my friggen $150 back!

I’m going through my own thang too and although I have many ideas, I’m at a crossroads and not sure which way to go.

The winter blues are really kicking in now, even though we’ve had pretty decent weather lately.

Seriously, am I talking about the weather?

When we had a major dumping of snow, it was too cold to stay outside longer than 5 minutes to enjoy it. Once it became mild and warm enough to stay outside, the snow was too hard for the kids to play with.

Yes I’m feeling so blah that I’ve had to resort to talk about the weather.

Damn you writer’s block!

I feel uninspired to write.

How can you be inspired when destruction is around you? What I can possibly write about that will be uplifting and significant?

I want to start the new year all over again.

I've decided that my new year did not begin on January 1st.

It will begin on Chinese New Year on February 14th which happens to be Valentine’s Day.

AND it will be the year of the TIGER, which is my year!

I’ll ring in the new year with a bottle of bubbly all to myself and start 2010 all over again!

(See? The Sagittarius in me did not allow me to end off on a sour note. I'm not so bad after all.)

Happy Birthday Baby

Tomorrow, my baby boy turns 3!

Daniel, my youngest, aka The Destroyer, has earned his title well. From a sweet little monkey to an energizer bunny, I've so enjoyed watching him develop his fierce personality.

How do I describe my little one? Zany, funny, chatty, bold, sweet, territorial, and my favourite, a momma's boy.




newborn

6 mo

When Daniel was born, I would look into his cute little face and wonder, what kind of personality would he have? How different would he be from his big brother?

It's just a joy and pleasure to see him grow and blossom into this amazing little boy.

January has been his month - he started pre-school and very successfully, I might add. He also started skating lessons, after having watched his big brother for so many, it's finally his turn.





1 year

2 years

He also turns three - a milestone age, in my eyes. The toddler phase is completely gone but he still has some of that "baby look" left (at least for another few months). He's out of diapers and training pants and fully potty trained. He speaks in complete sentences and tells imaginative stories. He is now officially a pre-schooler.



2 1/2

2 3/4

To make it official, I said a tearful goodbye to his change table, baby bedding (we bought at www.Overstock.com) and some of his baby clothes and toys (the most sentimental I kept). The Destroyer is on his way to independence. But even though he's off and running, I know that he'll be back in mommy's arms, even just for a little while.

Here is a cute little video of his zany personality (when he was 2 1/2)

Happy Birthday Danny :) I love you!

Parenting Confidently

On Thursday, January 14, a new program I'm facilitating had its first session.

I was thrilled that 22 women attended! Here is a photo of the packed OEYC in Aurora:

Parenting Confidently is a FREE eight-week program which will help reduce the anxiety and nervousness that new parents face.

Topics include infant/child CPR and first aid, nutrition for mom and baby, infant massage, sleep solutions, benefits of baby wearing, moms health and PPMD, and car safety.

It feels wonderful to be part of an organization that helps new parents adjust to the challenges of parenthood.

For more programs like these, visit Life with a Baby at www.lifewithababy.com

If I were...

A month, I’d be October.

A day of the week, I’d be Saturday.

A time of day, I’d be 4:00pm.

A planet, I’d be Venus.

A sea animal, I’d be a dolphin.


A direction, I’d be the South.

A piece of furniture, I’d be a love seat.

A liquid, I’d be a cranberry and vodka.

A gemstone, I’d be turquoise.

A tree, I’d be a maple.

A Greek God, I'd be Aphrodite.


A tool, I'd be a power drill.

A flower, I’d be a hydrangea.

The weather, I’d be sunny.

An instrument, I’d be an electric guitar.



A colour, I’d be blue.

An emotion, I’d be exhilaration.

A fruit, I’d be a watermelon.

A sound, I’d be laughter.

An element, I’d be water.

A car, I’d be a black Jaguar.

A food, I’d be chocolate.

A place, I’d be the beach.

A material, I’d be cashmere.

A scent, I’d be Nag Champa incense.

A taste, I’d be chocolate.

An animal, I’d be a horse.



An object, I’d be a television.

A body part, I’d be eyes.

A facial expression, I’d be a smile.

A song, I’d be Smells Like Teen Spirit.

A pair of shoes, I’d be a pair of black stiletto heels.

I originally saw this on Dani Gray's blog, who is the producer of The Dean Blundell Show on 102.1 The Edge, my favourite radio station. Follow Dani on Twitter http://twitter.com/danigray

New Year, New Decade

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade!

Another year come and gone... another decade.

For me, 2009 was like a re-awakening period. My eyes were opened, ideas sprouted and new ventures began.

But it's always fun to sit back and reflect on the past year's highs and lows... and with the help of some Facebook applications, I created a Year in Photos:

... and a year in Status:


Looking back, my status's on Facebook and Twitter were cool... but imagine how cooler it would be if they looked like this?

January 1, 2009
Oh my God, oh my God, I won! I won! I won the jackpot!

January 22, 2009
On first class flight to New York City to have lunch with Tribeca founder Robert DeNiro to discuss my optioned screenplay.

February 15, 2009
Took a last-minute trip to the Bahamas with the family. The beaches are goregous.

March 9, 2009
My boys just finished dusting and vaccuming the house. I'm so proud of them :)

April 2, 2009
Finished my book and the manuscript is off to my editor. Yay!

June 5, 2009
Planning summer vacation - Europe or Caribbean? Decisions decisions!

August 12, 2009
Took my family and closest friends with me to Vegas baby!

September 19, 2009
I just bitch-slapped this rude woman who was getting on my nerves and it felt damn good.

October 11, 2009
Thanksgiving dinner for 16 seated comfortably in the dining room of my new house, decorated by Sarah Richardson, is divine.

November 18, 2009
Rocked with Alexisonfire and Billy Talent at a local private party where they each performed a set and I sang "Saint Veronika" and "The Northern" with Ben and Dallas.

December 25, 2009
Like every year, spending Christmas with my family and it is insane but wonderful as always.


Ahhhh, a girl can dream!

For me, the past decade was about getting married, buying a house and having kids.

Can't wait to see what the next ten year brings.

Cheers!

Parenting Confidently

I'm facilitating a new program starting in January called "Parenting Confidently".

Parenting Confidently is a FREE eight-week program which will help reduce the anxiety and nervousness that new parents face.

This program will run Thursdays starting January 14, 2010 at the Ontario Early Years Centre in Aurora.

Topics will include infant/child CPR and first aid, nutrition for mom and baby, infant massage, sleep solutions, benefits of baby wearing, moms health and PPMD, and car safety.

To register, visit Life With a Baby

Sunday School

This past Sunday, my son performed in his first Sunday School Christmas concert.

That’s right, Sunday School.

I used to go to Sunday School for years and like Greek School, was silently resentful towards my parents for not allowing me to stay home like the rest of the kids on Saturday and Sunday mornings to watch cartoons. I’d have to wait for holiday weekends to watch Bugs Bunny and The Smurfs. “Do I have to go?” I whined. But with my dad’s stern look and my mom holding her wooden spoon, they always won.

At the time, I thought Greek school was boring. I’d always be caught passing notes to classmates or get in trouble for talking too much. I wouldn’t mind learning to Greek dance, or recess. There were a few boys I looked forward to seeing at assembly and that was pretty much the highlight of my day.

Sunday school was pretty much the same although thankfully much shorter in duration. I’d rather go to hang with the other kids in the classroom rather than sit through the church liturgy which was mostly in Ancient Greek anyway so I couldn’t understand what the priest was chanting about.

Here I am now, years later, and my perspective has changed, as I expected. Having kids makes you appreciate these traditions so much more, and realize why your parents pushed you so hard. Today I will admit that I am grateful that they forced me to go to both Greek and Sunday School.

Now the tables have turned and I’m going through the same issue with the Boss. Every Sunday morning, he is resistant.

Even for this Christmas concert, he was miserable the whole time. Look at him in the pictures (he's wearing the blue striped sweater). See that pout on his face? Don't mind the girl beside him picking her nose.

There he is, reaching out to me to save him.

At one point, I gave him a thumbs up and in response, he gave me two thumbs down. I couldn’t help but grin but I quickly gave him stern looks and eyed him to stay put.

After the concert was over, he muttered, “I don’t want to go to Sunday School ever again!”

Here we go. Karma is here to bite me in the butt.

Greek school isn’t an option at this time so I have one less thing to worry about. My husband would also like him to learn Italian and I understand that we have to meet in the middle. He has already compromised for me having baptised the boys Greek Orthodox and not Catholic.

Obviously kids have to go to school whether they like it or not, they need an education. When it comes to extra-curricular activities, I will allow my boys the choice to do what they enjoy. But what about religion? Languages?

For now, Catholic school also doesn’t make sense as the public school is across the street from our house. I also am not sure I want religion in school.

What would you do? Have you had to make a similar decision with your kids?

Visiting Santa

INT. UPPER CANADA MALL, NEWMARKET

Anthony aka The Boss (5 years) and Daniel, aka The Destroyer (almost 3 years), wait patiently in line to visit Santa Claus. Their mom, a 29-year-old buxom brunette who looks too young to be a mom, attempts to remain calm despite the chaos she just experienced shopping with her two rambunctious boys.

A young female Santa helper gestures to the boys - finally their turn. The Boss and the Destroyer rush up to Santa and jump onto his lap roughly. Santa yelps out in agony but quickly recovers, hiding his pain with a Ho Ho Ho!

SANTA:

(to BOSS and DESTROYER)

Have you been good boys?

The Boss and The Destroyer look at each other. A little devious twinkle in their eyes.

BOSS AND DESTROYER:

(in harmony)

Yes Santa!

SANTA: (to BOSS)

What would you like for Christmas?

BOSS:
Ben 10 Alien Force Watch.

SANTA:

Anthing else?

BOSS:

Ben 10 Alien Force Jet Ray.

Santa turns his head to the Destroyer.

SANTA: (to DESTROYER)
What about you? What would you like for Christmas?

DESTROYER:
Ben 10 Alien Force Humungasour, Spidermonkey
and, um, and.... and Jet Ray!

SANTA:
Anything else?

DESTROYER:
Ben 10 Alien Force Watch.

SANTA:
Well be good boys for your mom, ok?

BOSS AND DESTROYER:
Thank you Santa!

The Boss and the Destroyer run off, their faces beaming with excitement.

SANTA (to himself):
What the f*ck is Ben 10 Alien Force?

Potty Training

When the Boss was 2, I was pregnant with the Destroyer. I was concerned about having two kids in diapers. So I tried the potty training routine, read the books, researched online and tried it all.

First, I let the Boss run around naked. Funny but slightly disturbing to see my kid fondling his penis freely. Eventually he ended up peeing on the floor.

Next I bribed him with a toy. The Boss is smarter than that. It failed. Even Diego couldn’t entice him to go on the potty. He’d look at me like I was stupid – ‘this is my body and I’ll go pee when I want to.’ He ran away and screamed, “I don’t want to go on the potty!”

Then Daddy showed him how to use the potty. His older cousin taught him the whole bathroom routine. I bought him a new Diego soft seat and underwear.

I even consulted his pediatrician. The Boss was in the office with me so I quietly asked the doctor, “Any tips on helping him go on the p-o-t-t-y?” He replied, "Don't p-u-s-h it."

Yes, there was major resistance. Wasn’t he physically ready? Did he really enjoy the feeling of wetness? Did he not mind walking around with a diaper full of poop?

I gave up. He just isn’t ready, I thought. Drop it, let it go, he won’t be 8 years old and still in diapers.

Then one day, miraculously, he simply said, “Mommy I want to go on the potty.”

I nonchalantly replied “sure” even though I was jumping for joy on the inside. He sat himself down, his little hands grasping onto the toilet seat to hold himself up so he wouldn’t fall in. And lo and behold, he started to pee! I praised him and kissed him and told Daddy and called Yiayia and gave him high fives.

The next morning, we started the routine again. The first time on the potty was a success. After than, I asked him if he needed to go every hour. Finally when he agreed, he sat down on his soft potty seat. I read to him, distracted him with a song, turned on the faucet so that maybe the sound of water would help... but nothing happened. Not even a tinkle.

And then, just as soon as he walked away, his pants were soaked. I calmly changed his clothes and told him it was okay and reminded him to call me if he felt he had to go.

Later that day, I had just returned from putting a load of laundry in the washing machine when I caught a whiff… a stench…uh oh, he had done a number two.

Noooooo! And oh what a big, messy one.

I swiftly carried him to the bathtub and cleaned him up matter-of-factly. I reassured him that is was okay, it was an accident, but he had to use the potty next time.

The accident freaked him out so much that he did not want to go on that potty ever again. Not even the little one. Couldn’t care less about the Diego underwear. He asked to wear a Pull-up.

I felt so disappointed in myself. What did I do wrong? Did I pressure him too much? I was too busy doing laundry, I missed my chance to help him do a number two on the potty.
At my wits end, I gave up. The power struggle, that is.

When I stopped beating myself up, I realized that when he is ready, he will try again.

And he did. In his own time. With a little help to soften his stool as he had constipation issues, he finally faced his fear of pooping on the toilet. And when he overcame that fear, he was on his way. Without any pressure from me.

With my second son, the Destroyer, there was a window of opportunity around 2 years of age. But he would trickle every ½ hour so his body was not able to stay dry very long.

At around 2 ¾, he started showing interest again. He could do #1 on the potty but forget about #2. Just like the boss, he too had some issues with constipation.

Two weeks ago, I decided to go for it. He showed the signs of readiness so I didn't want to waste anymore time. I stopped putting him in training pants. Every ½ hour I asked him if he needed to go. I reminded him that if he wanted to go to school, like his big brother, he’d have to do pee and poo on the potty. I had the Boss get involved too by showing him how do go potty, wash his hands, etc.

I’m happy to report that within 2 days, the Destroyer was fully potty trained. The lessons I learned with the Boss really prepared me for the Destroyer.

So here are my potty training tips:

~ Don’t push it! The more you push, the more they resist.

~ Wait until they can be dry for more than an hour. If they can’t hold it for longer periods, then their bodies are just not physiologically ready.

~ Ask your doctor. If your kid has constipation, it may be more difficult for them to sit on the potty long enough to have a bowel movement. Ask about natural stool softeners, ie. prunes or even Lactulose.

~ Go shopping and let your child pick out the underwear. They will get excited about superhero or princess underwear, believe me!

~ Set aside a few days to focus fully on potty training so you can be home most of the day.

~ Ditch the diapers and training pants. Let them wear underwear. Even if they have accidents, they’ll start to realize the concept of wet and dry. Training pants are so absorbent, they can’t even tell sometimes.

~ Try a rewards program; give a sticker for every time they use the potty.

~ At night, use a night-time pant but first thing in the morning, take it off and replace with underwear as soon as your child wakes up.

~ If you have to go out, have your child empty his/her bladder before leaving and bring a change of pants and underwear. Don't be afraid of an accident and opt for a training pant to go out as this confuses them. Once you ditch training pants, don’t go back.

~ Celebrate your child's potty success. He/she deserves it!

Holiday Shopping... with Kids

I wrote this post back in December 2007 when the Boss was 3 and the Destroyer was almost 1.


'Tis the Season to be Jolly... and Stressed!

Christmas is just around the corner. If you have kids, you know how difficult it is to shop with them. I took mine to the mall the other day hoping to buy just a few gifts on my list. What an event...er disaster!

When I go shopping, I must have everything organized with lists and a mental map of how I’m going to move through the mall quickly and in the most efficient way. In and out. No browsing. I can’t steer off my plan or else there will be trouble.

The first ten minutes were a breeze; I put both boys in my double stroller – the Boss in the front and the baby in the back. I managed to get to the first store and buy one item off my list… and then the sh*t hit the fan.

We’re in Old Navy when The Boss starts hanging his body halfway out of the stroller and grabbing and pulling clothes off the hangers. Grrrrr. I push the massive, hard-to-manoeuver stroller out to the middle of the aisle where he can’t touch anything within his reach so I can clean up the mess.

As I put the entire rack of clothes back, he manages to grab the butt of some lady walking by. “Sorry!” I blurt. My cheeks are starting to redden out of embarrassment.

Soon enough, my little one starts to fuss. "Nnnnnnnnn", he whines. He tightens his little body, legs straight out as stiff as a board.

I hand him a toy but he drops it. I give it back to him, he tosses it onto the floor. At the same time, the Boss attempts to climb out of the stroller. “No, sit down please, Mommy is almost finished.”

“No I want to come out NOW!” the Boss demands.

I quickly make my way over to the check-out line. People are giving me the looks... you know, those dirty looks like "lady, get a grip of your kids". But I ignore them, thinking that they either don’t have kids or they don’t remember what having young kids was like.

One woman looks at me with empathy and says, “I know what it’s like, I have two kids at home.” I smile and say “Yes it’s fun isn’t it”. Thinking to myself, you've got it right - you left them at home!

I hand over my car keys to the Boss and my house keys to the baby. They quiet down. For the moment.

I’m able to check out of the store. We’re now in the mall. The thrill of playing with the keys quickly fades when the baby throws them. The keys slide across the ground stopping right at the edge of the balcony. Phew! Close one.

Now I’m nervous about the Boss holding my car keys. “Are you holding onto the keys tight?” “Yes Mommy”.

The baby starts to cry. I have to take him out of the stroller but I still need to go to one more store. Can I do it? I’ll be quick, I think to myself.

Should have slapped myself in the forehead.

I haul the baby out of the stroller and carry him with one arm while I push the heavy stroller with the other. I am now sweating buckets and some bad B.O. is beginning to emanate from my armpits. My hair is coming loose from my hairclip and getting into my face and I’m spitting it out of my mouth. I catch a glimpse of myself in the glass window of a store and let out a big sigh.

As we’re making it through the mall, a pair of boots catch my eye but there is no way in hell I could even attempt to walk in to take a look. The aisles of the store are just way too narrow to fit the stroller through! Arrgh!!!

The Boss wants to come out of the stroller too. I bribe him with the keys, “If you don’t stay in your seat, Mommy will take the keys away.” This works for about two minutes.

“I want to come out now!” I help him out of his seat and take the keys back. “You have to hold the stroller. If you don’t, you have to sit back down.”

My arm is just about to fall off by the time we reach the toy store. The Boss is excited and runs to the book section. I finally put the baby down and they both play with the train set.

Ahh, a moment of silence.

Until the Boss decides to knock his baby brother over. He starts to wail. I scold the Boss and threaten to leave the store. The baby won’t calm down now at this point. He’s had enough. It’s time to go.

Now try getting the Boss out of the store.

Do I pop my boob out and give the baby some milk to calm down? I try dangling the keys. Nothing. One of his toys, a book, a new toy. Nada.

Luckily the toy I came to purchase was right within my reach.

“Time to go”, I tell the Boss sternly. “No, Mommy, I want to stay here.”

“It’s time to go now, the baby is crying.” I offer the Boss some Teddy cookies if he sits down.

I take him by the hand and head over to the check-out. The shopping part is challenging enough, now you have to wait in massive lines with screaming kids!

“Dora is on TV soon, let’s go.”

The Boss starts screaming, “Nooooo!”

“In the stroller, please!”

I feel like all eyes are on me and my boys. I’m so used to it that it really doesn’t bother me anymore.

“They really need to have more cashiers!” I say loudly.

A woman in line looks at me with a big grin, “Go ahead.” My eyes light up. “Really? Thank you so much!” Such a small gesture reminds me that there are still nice people out there, willing to lend a hand.

So on this shopping trip, I only manage to cross two items off my list. Better than nothing.

Next time, I’ll get a babysitter.

Finally we make it to the car and the kids are settled down. As I strap the Boss into his car seat, he looks up at me with those big brown eyes and says, “Merry Ch-w-istmas Mommy.”

My heart melts, and all the stress in the world goes away.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart.”

Twilight Moms

I find it fascinating that so many moms are enthralled with the Twilight series.

Frankly, so am I! I’m really not embarrassed to admit it either. But should I be? Should I, along with all the other adult women who have become obsessed and addicted, do the walk of shame?

Why are so many older women so darn smitten?

I was a HUGE fan of the Anne Rice vampire series. Historical epics, especially during the American Civil War and Renaissance times, have always intrigued me. Throw in a few blood-thirsty vampires and I’m hooked.

But Twilight is based in modern day high school...uh teenagers??? So what is the appeal?

Are moms missing the romance? Do we crave the escape? Do wish we were teenagers again?

I asked a few Twilight Twitter moms why they love the Twilight series and here is what they said:


"I used to be the one who made fun of everybody else who 'loved' these books and movie - I would roll my eyes, shaking my head in disgust - I mean, really! A teenage romance about a vampire? And werewolves? Gag! Then, one day, I saw Twilight on TV... and I instantly fell in love. Despite the less than Oscar-worthy performances, I loved it. The next day, I bought all the books and have not been able to put them down! They are truly addictive, and it's easy to get carried away in the love story. I guess it's because we can all remember the first time we fell in love, the passion we had as teenagers... I loved New Moon, too - I thought the movie was so well done! Even the acting. Yes, I'm a Twilight addicted mama, and proud of it! The books keep me up way past my bedtime, and I only have one book left to read. I am not ashamed to say I have a Twilight obsession!" @MrsLoulou

~~~~~

"Twilight is an escape from an otherwise predictable life. The romance, the mystery, the thrill of the forbidden all contribute to the appeal. The series made me feel young and in love. It's been forever since I felt so enraptured with a series of books. I couldn't put it down the first time, I read all four in two weeks. My heart raced, I dreamed I was Bella and I lost myself in the romance." @LiteMochaMom

~~~~~

"I think for me Twilight is such a draw because it gives me a bit of escapism while at the same time the story, while a fantasy is very relatable. The issues and characters are in a sense charactures of real life. The vampire theme seems to run in the background in a lot of ways. And Edward and Jacob are both pretty romantic hotties." @seeJillrun

~~~~~

"I have always enjoyed reading fantasy books. So when a friend told me about Twilight I decided I needed to pick up the books. I started reading the first book and was hooked at once. For me I think the biggest draw was the romance. The story is also a quick read. I read all 4 books in about 2 weeks. I think Moms are attracted to the story because it is a great escape. The books were easy to read and quick. It was easy to get immersed in the world of Bella and Edward. It is every woman's dream to fall head over heels, deeply in love with someone. And every woman understands the draw of a man that is just wrong for us. It's kind of the bad boy crush.

I think to every Mom the story of Twilight takes us back to when we were young. We can escape the chaos of kids, husbands, work, the laundry and housework for a few moments and live in the romantic world of Bella." @ImFreckles

~~~~~

I love Twilight because of Edward Cullen. And of course, because Robert Pattinson is such a hunk... (and the fact that he is only 23 and British makes me sigh). Back to the character... Edward Cullen is the kind of leading man that lives only in a woman’s dream. He’s intelligent, romantic AND stunning. In this day in age, with so many obligations, responsibilities and distractions, romance is lost. Chivalry is dead. It is innate for most women to crave fairy-tale love and romance.

It’s the Romeo and Juliet, Beauty and the Beast theme that gets me every time. Whether fictional or not, when I see two people who love each other and can’t be together, I am destroyed.

The idea that Bella is human and Edward is immortal, the fact that they can never be together, pulls my heart strings. That Edward is damned to be a ‘monster’ for eternity and that he would have to kill Bella to make her become a vampire, that he would damn her soul by taking her, is strangely romantic.

I’ve read the first two books and saw "New Moon" on opening weekend. I’m so excited to see what happens next… and millions of other moms like me are also anxiously waiting to watch the film adaptation of "Eclipse" next year. In the meantime, I'll keep dreaming and drooling.

Managing Expectations Program

Last Tuesday, I wrapped up the Managing Expectations program I facilitated for Life with a Baby, a project of Healthy Start, Healthy Future, a non-profit organization in York Region. The aim was to help new parents cope with the challenges of having a baby.

The program ran at the Ontario Early Years Centre in Newmarket.



Thanks to the lovely moms and their beautiful babes who participated. Special thanks to Claire Zlobin, founder of Life with a Baby, and the wonderful ladies at the OEYC in Newmarket.

I’m looking forward to facilitating more programs with Life with a Baby in 2010!

For more information on Life with a Baby, visit Life with a Baby

What I've Learned So Far

It’s my birthday on Sunday.

I’m turning 29.

Again.

No, I’m kidding.

With this birthday comes mixed feelings. Now you may be rolling your eyes but the truth is, I’m officially in my mid-30s. I’m this close to being middle-aged. In fact, I very well could be right smack in the middle right now. So I probably have another 35 good years ahead of me.

I’m okay with that. Really. The thirties are wonderful. I've heard that our forties are even better. So much to look forward to. So much already accomplished.

I’m not afraid of ageing. With age comes experience and wisdom.

I look back at all of my experiences and know it’s normal to wish I had accomplished more. Done more. Seen more. Travelled more.

But the positive in me says I’ve learned a lot so far. Some of the important things that I acknowledge this birthday:

I’ve learned that I love learning new things.

I’ve learned that I’ll never stop learning.

I’ve learned so much from my elders.

I’ve learned so much from my children.

I’ve learned that true friends are really hard to come by.

I’ve learned that how we each view the world is really all about perception.

I’ve learned to read people.

I’ve learned to trust my own instincts.

I’ve learned not to assume anything.

I’ve learned to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve learned to be more understanding of people.

I’ve learned not to take things so personally.

I’ve learned to lower my expectations of people so I won’t be disappointed.

I’ve learned that hearing doesn’t mean listening and some people have a hard time doing either.

I’ve learned that to truly live in the moment is an art.

I’ve learned that reality bites but day-dreaming is a great place to be.

I’ve learned that you can’t judge a person unless you’ve walked a thousand miles in their shoes.

I’ve learned to turn my head to people who are self-absorbed and jealous.

I’ve learned that relationships take much effort but it’s worth it.

I’ve learned to get by on one salary and live simply.

I’ve learned not be envious of others’ material possessions.

I’ve learned to enjoy the simple things in life, like my morning coffee and my children’s laughter.

I’ve learned to take time for myself to recharge and find peace.

I’ve learned not to wait for things to happen but to go after what I want.

I’ve learned that no matter how old you get, you can still be young at heart.

I’ve learned that no matter how many children you have, you have enough love in your
heart for each of them.

I’ve learned to be grateful for having amazing siblings and take pride in the fact that we are close and our children will be too.

I’ve learned that raising children is the most rewarding yet most challenging job of all.

I’ve learned that some sacrifices are definitely worth making.

I’ve learned the mothers truly are the glue that holds a family together.

I’ve learned that money makes the world go round but it doesn’t feed the soul.

I’ve learned that you must pursue what you love, even if you don’t get paid for it.

I’ve learned that it’s impossible to have it all, all at once.

I’ve learned that the truly fun part is the journey and not the destination.

Things to be Thankful For this Thanksgiving

Written by Christina Lianos

As a Canadian living in the United States, I have always marveled at the importance given to the Thanksgiving holiday. Naturally, I celebrated Thanksgiving in Canada and the spirit of the holiday is very similar to our friends south of the 49th.

In the United States, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and it is by all accounts, a holiday that has become equally or possibly more recognized and anticipated than Christmas. Giving thanks is a tradition that transcends all creeds and religions and so this secular holiday is observed and cherished by so many. And beyond the modern tradition of football, food and the Macy’s Day Parade – it is a time for families to gather and express thanks for material and spiritual gains.

And eat food. Lots of food.

Today’s Thanksgiving tradition may be different and varied, with an abundance of traditional and non-traditional fare. I asked people to share their holiday traditions with me and in doing so, I found the one common thread among young and old, is the spirit of remembering and acknowledging all that we are thankful for.

And during these uncertain times, I cannot think of a better time to be thankful for all that I have.

~~~

"I think my Thanksgiving traditions are pretty similar to a lot of American families. I'm from the South Side of Chicago, which is largely Irish Catholic, and my family is no exception. My mom is one of ten kids, and she and all of her siblings still live on the South Side.

On Thanksgiving, several of my aunts and uncles and their spouses and children, as well as my dad's aunt, gather at my parents' house. Before dinner, there is always a football game on tv, and depending on who is playing (we are huge Chicago Bears fans), there is usually a football game on tv during and after dinner as well.

The meal is pretty traditional - turkey, stuffing, cranberries, potatoes, green bean casserole, etc. My mom cooks the turkey and stuffing, but everyone brings something to share, whether it is an appetizer, side dish, or dessert, and usually everyone brings wine or beer to share. I try and help my mom however I can, but usually she just tells me to get out of the kitchen and set the table. One of these days she's going to tell me that I've been out of the house for long enough that it's time I start making something on my own to bring over - scary!

After dinner, some of my other aunts and uncles and my grandmother come by from wherever they had been for dinner, have dessert, and then we play Trivial Pursuit - usually boys against girls (and the girls usually win). Most of us kids are high school age and older, and everyone is eager to show off how smart they are now, so the game can get pretty intense. This year I had three cousins go off for their first year of college, so it will be kind of a special Thanksgiving for them.

Sometime later in the evening I leave to go grab a drink with a few friends who may be down south having dinner with their parents as well, and we always toast to the fact that we're still coming down to our parents' house for Thanksgiving, and that we are still friends, after all these years."

~ Sarah

~~~~~

"My memories of Thanksgiving are wonderful. All of the relatives were invited and everyone came. It did not matter whether there was a place to sit or not. It did not matter who was talking or not talking to each other. We squeezed you in. Additional tables were placed leading into the main table. 20-25 people all sat down at once to eat Tom Turkey!

All of us were grateful for the bountiful table. Special dishes were made depending on who liked what. It was not possible to taste everything that was on the table. All of us were grateful that everyone we loved was there and still alive to share this great holiday.

Then came the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Day Parade. We all watched it on the television. Later in the early evening we had fresh turkey sandwiches on bread with butter and football games to watch on TV.

Most of the Thanksgiving feasts were at my parents’ home and later at mine. Today were are not as many but we still get together to share the holiday as we have done for my entire life.

Our Thanksgiving was a special time for all of us to be together to give thanks for the good life we had. I had a very warm loving family. My memories and pictures of all who celebrated this holiday are cherished."

~ Kathy

~~~~~

"So here's my little bit of tradition. My oldest was born Thanksgiving week. So we call her the turkey baby and ever since, we have always celebrated her Birthday on the day of Thanksgiving, just because all of her family is present that day anyway. All of the other traditions are the usual for most Italian Families: Have to have an antipasto and a pasta/soup dish before the main course: Turkey with sausage stuffing. And of course, we give thanks by just saying thanks to God for another year and for all of those in our lives!"

~ Rosalie


My own Thanksgiving tradition has evolved since coming to the US. As a Greek-Canadian married to Dutch naturalized American, with our gang of American born children (I’m still amazed that they recite the Pledge of Allegiance and sing the Star Spangled Banner) and without any immediate family nearby, we have been “adopted” by our friends who are equally displaced and call on other friends to celebrate this holiday together. And though we joined our friends 7 years ago, their tradition has been in place for 20 years, and hosted in many places or towns in and around New York City.

The meal always consists of turkey, and gourmet renditions of all the traditional fare: roasted winter vegetables, savory herbed dressing, squash and sweet potatoes, apple and pumpkin pies, all lavishly spread on a table of richly hued china and crystal. One year we enjoyed triple layer chocolate pumpkin cake, with chocolate leaves and marzipan pumpkins. Another year it was a rich pumpkin cheesecake. And one year the hostess was traveling in the Far East, but the tradition was never broken.

Somehow, despite the soporific effects of wine mixed with carbohydrate laden foods and tryptophan tripped out turkey, my United Nation of displaced friends always find the energy to dispute and argue domestic and global issues … and above all be thankful.


Christina Lianos is a mother of three spirited girls. She holds an advanced degree in JugglingCareerandHome and is certified in Premature Dementia. She is also fluent in both Chaos & Insanity. In her spare time, she works in New York in Corporate HR.

TGIFF Fun!

I was tagged by Maria aka BOREDMommy on Monday on her "Meme Monday" post. I've been stalking, ahem, following Maria for quite some now and had the pleasure of meeting her in person recently.

I realize that it's now Friday... where the heck did the week go? Since it’s TGIFF – Thank God it’s F*cking Friday and everyone is seriously slacking today, let’s have some fun!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Funnies Garry Shandling and Howie Mandel.

2. Where was your first kiss? On a warm summer night in the middle of the street.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Does toilet-papering an old
boyfriend’s house count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? A few shots to the head never hurt nobody.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Didn't you know? I am secretly a rock singer by night.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? The eyes – the windows of the soul.

7. What really turns you off? People who are fake.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Double Shot Non-Fat Lactaid Latte. Now say that three times.

9. What is your biggest mistake? I turned down certain opportunities.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? I like to carve designs in my skin in my spare time. And I enjoy pulling out my hair on occasion.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I’d love to go back to school.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yeah, a few people have said I look like Maria Shriver which I wasn’t so thrilled about… does my chin look like hers? Seriously!

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? I absolutely adore the Backyardians. And the new guy on Wiggles.

14. Did you have braces? Nope but I probably should have!

15. Are you comfortable with your height? I’m happy being 5’7” but a couple more inches without heels would be cool.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Romance? What's that? I only know from books ;)

17. When do you know its love? When it just feels right.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I speak Greek. I used to speak French and Spanish fairly well.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? I used to… I’d pretend I was in the Bahamas, on a nude beach or something.

20. What magazines do you read? Elle, Canadian Living, Homemakers, InStyle

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? They are overrated but yes.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Sadly my grandparents have all passed, a few of my dear uncles and an amazing cousing.

23. Do you watch MTV? GAC – Guilty As Charged.

24. What’s something that really annoys you? People who gossip maliciously.

25. What’s something you really like? The amazing smell of coffee, first thing in the morning.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? How else would I have learned to do the moonwalk?

27. Can you dance? I love to dance, I think I can bust a few cool moves. Give me the chance and I can shake this Greek ass!

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? In my younger days, I could stay up all night. Now I’m lucky if I can stay up past 1am.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? No, bite your tongue! Ftou ftou don’t give me the evil eye.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? I sure do!

31. Tag 5 people!
@graceannounce
@SharonDV
@MOMMagRocks
@CocktailDeeva
@ImFreckles

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

Favourite Toys

When I was a kid, my best friend was Michelle B. who lived just a few houses down the street from me. We didn’t have many toys to play with but our favourite thing to do was play Barbies.

When my brother and cousin weren’t pulling off my Barbies’ clothes and hanging them by drop-down basement ceiling while I watched in horror, I’d play with them for hours.

Other than my precious Barbies and hunky Ken, Michelle and I would play with the dirt. We’d hang out in her garage, make hamburger patties from the mud and play restaurant.

At home, my dad built me a chalkboard and hung it up in my little playroom, which was a tiny little nook under the stairs in the basement. I’d pretend to be a teacher or librarian.

When my cousins would come over, my brother and sister would hang blankets from the ceiling and we’d take turns performing skits like on The Gong Show. I would, on occasion, bust out my moves like a Solid Gold dancer.

We didn’t have much growing up but boy did we use our imaginations!

Today I have two beautiful boys and they have every toy a kid could ever want. Big toys, little toys, useful toys, useless toys, educational toys, ride-on toys, blow-up toys, action figure toys, licensed tv and movie toys, dollar-store toys, expensive toys. With so much to choose from, there is just way too much!

The Barbie dolls I cherished were MY all-time favourite. What was YOUR favourite childhood toy?

Share your favourite toy as a kid and enter to win a Little Tikes Classic Tough Tire Tricycle!

Check out http://CSNStores.com/ for all your children’s needs from nursery furniture to toys!

Email amotherworld@gmail.com with the subject "Toy Giveaway"

Increase your chance of winning by answering:

“What was your favourite childhood toy?”

Leave your answer as a comment below with your email address for another chance to win!

Open to Canadian and U.S. residents. Giveaway ends November 27th. Good luck!

Alyson Schafer ~ Guest Speaker Extraordinaire

On Tuesday November 3rd, I was thrilled to have parenting expert extraordinaire Alyson Schafer speak to the wonderful group of women in the program I'm facilitating.

Alyson is a psychotherapist and author of the best-selling books "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" and "Honey I Wrecked the Kids". Her popular call-in television show, The Parenting Show, is now in its fourth season.

Alyson talked about the expectations versus the reality of motherhood and the so-called "SuperMom complex" that most of us know all too well.

Alyson obviously has the guest-speaking thing down to a perfect science with her liveliness and enthusisam, you can't help but be drawn in. I found myself laughing out loud many times during her talk. Because she's also a psychotherapist, she touched on some "taboo" subjects… ahem... with such humour and ease, that you felt like telling her not only your life story, but details on your sex life. And that's what some of the moms did - raised some very personal questions.

I only wish that I had all these resources, information and network of moms when my first son was born.

It was a wonderful session and it was such an honour to have her! Alyson's website is http://www.alyson.ca/

Managing Expectations is a free six-week program to help new parents cope with the challenges of having a baby, and is offered by Life with a Baby, a project of Healthy Start, Healthy Future, a non-profit organization. The program is running at the Ontario Early Years Centre in Newmarket. For more info, visit http://www.lifewithababy.com/